Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I had a witty title, but...

I actually had a fun title for this blog when I was thinking about the many things I was going to write about last night, but I believe the title is lost, floating around somewhere in Dream Land...

We survived our second blast of tornadoes this season, and having Ben here to help wrangle the babies to the basement made it so much easier and less stressful! Talk about crazy. The sky was sea foam green, the clouds were swirling, and I have to say, it was beautiful. After we got hit with the high winds and sideways rain, I went outside, just to see, and the air smelled like lemons and sugar. I think it's a shame that things are only so beautiful like that when Mother Nature is being so destructive. Three tornadoes touched down in Scottsbluff (we live in Gering, but it's really close to Scottsbluff)and we could hear the tornadoes roaring on the ground. Of course, we were in the basement. We had the boys in a pack-n-play in the basement closet. Owen kept throwing basketballs, and footballs for me to chase and throw back to him, and Marcus and Ethan were pretending the pack-n-play was a car and they were going on a trip. I love that they stay so calm and well behaved during such scary times. The flickering of the power didn't bother them a bit. I'm so proud of them.

In other news, Sunday we took down the baby "cage" or the play pen. I re-arranged and got everything done while they were napping, when they got up from their nap, they were running around the whole front room, screaming with glee. I think having the play pen up for so long has trained them that that is where their toys go. I have to say, I'm surprised at how clean the front room is staying with them being able to go everywhere. They seem to know to keep the toys in the area the toy box is. Again, I am so proud of them. They are so smart and learn so fast.

For the rest of the week, or at least until Thursday night, it's just me and the boys. So we're already missing Daddy. He's working out of town, and I'm trying to be positive about it, but I already feel overwhelmed knowing that even in the evenings, I'm the only one here with the boys. I'm also very paranoid. I am convinced that every person who walks by our house on a daily basis is casing the place and watching for when Ben's car isn't around and I'm totally expecting someone to try barging in tonight, probably pretty late. There is just something unsettling about knowing that if something were to happen, it's all up to me to protect those three little boys. Of course the voice of reason is in my mind somewhere, struggling to be heard, saying "Everything will be fine, nothing is going to happen." I know I have the option of packing up the boys and heading up to my parents' for the duration of Ben's out-of-town-ness, but I'm trying to face my fear of being home alone at night with the boys head-on. I can do this. I'm strong. If anyone would try to intrude into my home and put my little men in any harm, they'd be sorry. I can be Hell on Earth if needed. Right?
I also keep telling myself not to be such a baby. There are women who are raising kids without a man around and doing just fine and they're houses aren't constantly being broken into. There are women whose husbands are deployed, or who are working much further away. I'm lucky that he's only gone for three days and two nights.

I resolve to not be a baby. Maybe I'll use this opportunity to let my three little dumplings sleep all snuggled up with Mommy... Then again, they are a lot like me, they move around A LOT in their sleep...don't want anyone falling off the bed.

We have a little patch of yard we turned into a garden this year. Sadly, two out of three tomato plants were killed in the first tornados of the season, but the rest of our garden is thriving. Onions, radishes, corn, peppers, watermelon, and up the side of the garage we have grapes, plus thyme, oregano, lavender, cilantro. I'm the most excited for the radishes to be ready for picking. I adore radishes. I also love our garden because it draws the prettiest birds into our yard. Yesterday after a visit to my grandparents, the boys and I came home to the biggest, most beautiful blue jay in the backyard. Ben said it was back again this morning when he was leaving for work. We also get a lot of robins. I like robins, I feel like I can relate to them. They're out hunting for worms to feed their hungry little babies back at the nest. Their maternal instincts make them brave. They don't shy away from people if there are worms to be found. They are fearless in order to put food in their babies' bellies. What good momma birds.

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