Tuesday, May 31, 2011

So sick of it.

Let me just begin this post by saying that I love my children, and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

That being said... The worst thing about having triplets is, everyone wants to be able to say they know someone with triplets. It stinks. People try to buddy up to me, but never actually take the time to get to know me. What makes Bonnie tick, what are her interests, people are fascinated by multiples, and so when people are acting like they want to get to know me, or be my friend, all I end up doing is answering everyone's million questions about the triplets! What's worse, is that it's not even strangers that do this. Even family makes me feel this way. I feel like we're only invited to gatherings so they can show off the boys, and everyone can pretend they have such a great relationship with my boys, when in all actuality, the only time any of these people are around my kids is when they want to show them off... and here's the thing, it doesn't even average out to once a month that they're around us.
I'm so over it. I've been over it for a long time. I also hate how people pretend around their friends that they've been there with us every step of the way. They try to answer questions for me, when they don't know what they're talking about, they say they remember moments they were never even around for. I hate how fake people are, for what... popularity's sake?
I don't try to exploit my kids, or the fact that they just happen to be triplets to gain friends, get people to like me, or for anything. You better believe that it really gets to me when other people try to exploit the fact that they know triplets for their own gain.
I wish I could take my kids anywhere without the sea of questions. What I hate more of the sea of questions is when someone is with me, who for whatever reason, feels like they have to indulge people's curiosity.
I know the my kids will always have to deal with this. And my kids have such humor and sass at just 2, that they'll be able to combat the questions with their quick wit and charming smiles, but for now, I really just want to move away to some secluded part of the world where my family and I can go about our lives without the fake interest in being my friend so people can satisfy their curiosity about triplets, and without certain people pretending they have these great relationships with my kids and I so people will think they're interesting.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Does "safe" really exist?

I live in a small, rural area. The kind of town where everyone knows everyone, or at least knows of everyone. Yes, every populated place has crime, but I was pretty blind to the seriousness of crimes in this area until today. I don't know many people in this town, since I'm not from here, however, someone I had an acquaintanceship with today was shot and killed.
Although I didn't know this man very well, I could tell he was a decent person. He seemed to be filled with kindness and really cared about his friends and family. He had a wife and a baby girl.
I didn't know him well, but am overwhelmed with sadness, anger and confusion. I don't know why someone would have taken his life. I don't understand how murders can be committed so casually, in the early afternoon. I don't know if the person responsible for this terrible crime knew this guy personally, but how can you take away a child's father, a mother's son, a sister's brother, someone's husband...
This happened to someone I knew, someone who knew my husband, and my kids. This absolutely terrifies me. When I moved here, I knew it wasn't some perfect place, but I've always felt safe here. I don't feel like my family is really safe here anymore. I don't know if any "safe" place exists on this earth. I have 3 kids whom I am suppose to take care of and protect, and today was a reminder that it's not an easy task.
My heart goes out to this man's family and close friends. My heart especially goes out to his baby girl, I can't imagine how this will affect her as she grows up. There is just so much tragedy surrounding this incident, as I'm sure there is in any incident of the kind. I've never heard a bad word spoken about this man. I just don't understand this at all. My heart is heavy tonight.